Super Mario Bros Movie

Nintendo's iconic Italian plumber hero has already inspired one flop movie – and this sluggish new animation is no better. In fact, it might be worse, ...

As slick and corporate as The Super Mario Bros Movie is, it has a first-draft laziness that's rare in big-screen animation. The Super Mario Bros. But poor Luigi is captured by the monstrous Bowser (Jack Black), who has a name which suggests that he's a dog, and a physique which suggests that he's a dragon, but who is actually the leader of a race of turtles called Koopas. For instance, a flashback shows us that Princess Peach is a human who wandered into the Mushroom Kingdom from another planet – maybe even the same planet as Mario. The trouble starts when Mario is suddenly surrounded by floating bricks, giant gold coins, "Power Up" cubes, and burbling electronic sound effects, which only make sense in the context of a video game. Mario and Peach are supposed to be rushing to defend her realm from Bowser's invading army, but these pointless sequences remind us that no one is in any hurry to get anywhere. What's worse is that the film doesn't just have quick references to these games, it has long sequences lifted from them. As long as you don't worry about it, and embrace the psychedelic randomness, you can accept it as silly, what's-not-to-like science-fiction. Mario (Chris Pratt, who, as well as starring in Guardians of The Galaxy and Jurassic World, voiced the hero in The Lego Movie) and his nervous younger brother Luigi (Charlie Day) are established as good-hearted, bushy-moustached young guys who are trying to build their own independent plumbing business. Unfortunately, The Super Mario Bros Movie is not one of those films. By a remarkable coincidence, the brothers arrive on this surreal planet (or, possibly, in this surreal universe) just after Bowser has just got hold of a glowing star which will enable him to conquer Mushroom Kingdom. True, 1993's Super Mario Bros, with Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo, was a notorious flop, but The Lego Movie was tied to a line of plastic construction sets, and that was wonderful.